You Might be a Lukewarm Christian if...

"So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:16
You might be a luke-warm christian if...

...you wear nicer clothes to work than you do to church.
...you have more notes on your refrigerator than you do in your Bible.
...you think redemption is something you do with a winning lottery ticket.
...all but a few of the pages of your Bible are still stuck together.
...you skip church because of a headache but go to work with the flu.
...not only do you not know where to find Habakuk, you didn't even know it existed.
...the most profound words you've read all week came from the inside of a fortune cookie.
...you think Communion is something you do with nature.
...the church welcome committee reintroduces themselves to you whenever you go to church.
...you wear your golf clothes to church on warm summer days.
...you know how many tiles are on the church ceiling.
...you're jealous of the kid napping on the floor one isle in front of you.
...your attendance at church can be tracked by the local weather forecast.
...you get your best sleep on your knees.
...the closest you've gotten to sharing your faith was saying "bless you" when someone sneezed.
...you think the Patriarchs are Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
...when the minister asks the congregation to turn to the "love chapter" you turn to the Song of Solomon.
...you believe the Proverbs were written by someone named Confucius.
...you give more money to the parking meter at work than you put in the church offering.
...you wish your children were still babies so you'd have an excuse to get up and leave during the message.
...your children are babies and you purposely provoke them to cry so you can get up and leave during the message.
..."Amen" to you is translated "Thank God it's over!"
...you can't understand what pro-lifers are all worked up about.
...you watch Oprah to get fed spiritually.
...the last time you really prayed was on 9/11.