Love is a Decision

Written by Tony Stith

My son got his first job yesterday.  He'll be working the morning shift at a small restaurant in a Fitness club near where he attends school.  He's very excited.  He called me at work during the middle of the day. The timing of his call was ironic.  I was bogged down in the middle of a never ending project, clicking away at the computer, willing the clock to move just a little faster so I could pack up my lunch bag and my laptop and go home.   Not that every day is like this. As with any job there are good days and bad, ups and downs, successes and failures. His call started me reflecting.  There was a time when I loved this job. There were new challenges, new opportunities, and excitement about the contribution I could make.  Some of that excitement, that promise had faded.  Was this now just a job, mindless labor?  Was I just going through the motions just to collect a paycheck?  And, if I am going through the motions, what's the point?

Warning: Spiritual segway

Cut to the Sabbath.  Finally, the long work week is over.  Time to do what I want to do.  Sleep in, read a good book, maybe see a movie with the family, ride my bike, take it easy.  Oh yeah, then there's that church thing. Gotta do that. Oh, and maybe a little extra time (emphasis on "little") Bible Study and Prayer.  Hmmm....

There was a time when that church thing, that Bible Study and prayer thing, would have ranked a little higher, no, a lot higher on my list of desirable things to do "on my own time."   I guess some of the excitement, some of the enthusiasm for those things has waned over the years.  Had my faith simply become my religion?  Had my first love become my 4th, 5th or 6th obligation?  Was I just going through the motions, because that's what people who call themselves Christians are supposed to do, mark off our "spiritual to-do lists so we can get on guilt free with the things we really want to do with our free time?  Has my faith become like going to work?  Ughh...I wish my son hadn't gotten so excited about getting that job!


In Revelation 2:1 - 5 Jesus, through the apostle John, says to the Ephesian church, after praising them for their labour in the faith, tells them: "Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love."

The Ephesus church was getting some things right, doing a lot of the right things, but there was something missing, they were just going through the motions.  What should have been a labor of love, had become just labor.

Jesus, loving as He is, doesn't just leave them hanging with no solutions.  He provides a two step solution...

"Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent."

Step 1: Remember.  I guess that's what my sons phone call at work had done for me.  Caused me to begin remembering. Remembering what an awesome blessing it is to know Him. Remember that, of all the firsts I have ever experience or will ever experience, this first love is by far the greatest.  If I truly appreciate it for the blessing it is, my excitement for it should never be allowed to wane.

Step 2: Repent and do the first works.   My wife and I read a book by Gary Smalley when we were first married.  It was called Love is a Decision. I highly recommend it for any new couple. Basically, the message of the book is that Love between a husband and wife is not simply an emotional sense of well being, a feeling.  Love, true love, is a conscious decision we make, to love the other person through good times and bad, when we feel like it and when we don't because, as anyone who has been married for more than five years will tell you, sometimes you just don't. Love that is based on emotion will be shallow, inconsistent, and disillusioning.  Love based on a decision, in contrast, will grow richer and deeper over time. It will see its way through the hard times, the mundane times, the hurtful times. The highs will be higher and the lows will be not so low.

I think that is what Jesus is telling the Ephesians and us by extension.  He's saying in effect, "So you just don't feel the same excitement about Me as you once did? So what! My relationship with you isn't based on your feeling. Make a decision to Love Me like you did when our relationship first began. Put your faith, put Me first.  Do the first works."  You know what, over time, your love for Me will grow richer and deeper. It will survive the tests and trials. The good times and the bad. The disappointments.  The lows won't be quite so low and the highs....well, you can't even imagine!

Hmmm....
Suddenly I'm even more excited the Sabbath has arrived.  Time to invest in that decision.

Maybe I'll pick up the pace on that project at work next week, too.